"Anonymous"

Ever feel insignificant, hidden, unappreciated, unvalued, useless, used, uncelebrated, unseen, in a rut, etc.?

I'm reading a book called "Anonymous" by Alicia Britt Chole that speaks to these very feelings.  I asked for the book for Christmas because I thought the subtitle was interesting: Jesus' hidden years... and yours.  Little did I know that 6 months later { when I finally started to read it } it would be words to my heart for this season directly from God for His glory.

Since January when I found out I was pregnant, I have not been "myself."  I am in an uncontrollable whirlwind of taking life as it comes rather than creating life as I'd like it.  I have been sick for the past 24 weeks, have had no energy and have spiraled down into my depression { more on that some other time }.  It's all such a helpless feeling.

I am a person that thinks, if there is a way to "fix" or make a situation better, then I do it.  So I have been trying to "fix" all this for months now to no avail.  Just when I think I am feeling better, something slams me back down.

I am also an "acts of service" kind of person.  I enjoy taking care of my husband and kids.  I like to think about ways I can encourage and impact family and friends with the love of Christ and then DO THEM.  All of this in the past was an unconscious way of thinking I was earning Gods love.  But about 3 years ago, I was released from that bondage and have enjoyed God's free and unconditional AMAZING grace & love ever since.  This has actually spurred me to do greater things in His name because I am so thankful and free!  But alas, I have been failing miserably at all of the above. 

I have spent so much time just sitting around. This might not seem like a problem to most of you but, for me, with it comes guilt and a feeling of being useless and in a rut.

It wasn't until about 5 days ago after reading the passage from the book in the picture above that it finally sunk in and I realized that I am in a season of refinement and I must not try to rush it.  In fact, I need to embrace it.  I need to commit my heart and mind to finding my identity solely in Christ.  I need to discipline my thought life and rest in God's timing.  Since saying these words out loud it's like I've been released from the heavy rock I had been carrying.

I just want to encourage you today that God SEES you and knows exactly where you're at in life.  Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God;  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” While I believe loving God and action in His name go hand in hand, He also wants us to accept our circumstance and sit at His feet as long as we need to in order to receive the comfort, peace, joy and supernatural power it will take to walk through this season.